The Twenty-Somethings & Signs You Should RUN, RUN FAR AWAY AND FAST!

I have (almost) officially reached my almost-mid twenties: the unexciting age of 24. I will miss 23, come September 3rd (email me and I'll let you know where all presents may be sent to), but only because 23 is the number of my hero, Don "Donnie Baseball" Mattingly. My 23rd year of life on this planet has been one of ups and downs... and rollercoaster, if you will, of emotion and change. Here are the major changes of my life:
1. Moved out to San Francisco - a great cross-country trip
2. Registered as a Democrat, began working on the Obama campaign (Change We Can Believe In... and fill our days of unemployment with something worthwhile).
3. Held a not-so-fun, temp-to-perm job for five months which, eventually, helped force me to give 110% in finding a job in public relations.
4. Adopted a cat on prozac.
5. Moved from one apartment to my fabulous, swinging sixties-styled apartment that is currently dominated by cat hair and a broken Ikea chair that I have yet to return (due to my unwavering procrastination - that has yet to change).
6. Joined a kickball team, met a few friends, started dating a Googler.
7. Met my good, dear friend Laura due to dating the Googler.
8. Found a new, awesome job in public relations.
9. Re-connected with fellow Stag alumni, my kindred spirits (high-five!).
10. Broke it off with Googler due to his lack of commitment and the fact that his ex-girlfriend is still in the picture and he has no backbone to stand-up and move on. (Hey, at least I got my wonderful friend Laura out of it!)
11. Decided to shape up, hired a trainer (a mind-blowingly hot trainer, I might add) and am currently working towards looking as good as I feel.
12. Reluctantly, but happily (in some weird combination of the two) going on a pretty-much-call-it-for-what-it-is blind date set up by my Best Friend Emily - 3,000 miles away, but she knows me better than I know myself. Maybe this will change a few things... who knows.

Sooo... I think I've done a lot. Kept old friends, made new ones, had a non-relationship, got my heart kinda broken, adopted a new roommate (Cat, as I call her now), etc. I guess 23 wasn't such a bad age after all. I still have about a month and a half to go but I'm hoping no big surprises will throw my course off track. I'm content, nay, I'm happy!

Some thoughts (I know, this is a different setup but my mind wanders... and so should my post):

I'm kind of annoyed that everyone LOVES Giambs now... he's doing well, his 'stache is very reminiscent of Donnie Baseball's gloriousness back in the day (it was a Wednesday, sometime in the 1980s or 1990s), and he's the only guy who had enough brains to work through his steroid controversy. I'm happy for him - he deserves all the credit he can get - he is one of the few who seems to be smart, pretty ethical (A-Rod could take a cue from him) and extremely focused. Yet, I'd like a little credit for standing by him during his darkest days as a player. He was booed, he went through his steroid withdrawal on the field, in front of all the fans to see (cue the boos), he was even written-off by a few critics who thought his talent was purely due to his performance enhancing diet. He gained weight, he lost muscle, the sweat that poured from his face during games was equivalent to the flow of Niagra falls. Yet, I stuck by this guy because I knew he'd come back. And he did - something I could not be happier about... I just wish everyone would acknowledge the fact that I'm one of the few true, loyal Giambs fans.
I think all Yankees fans, perhaps all baseball fans in general, could learn a good life lesson from his story - you're up, you're down, you feel like you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Yet, through work, through focus and determination, through drowning out the boos and wiping the sweat off your brow, you can come back better than you were before. Maybe, next time someone slumps (this is in exception to A-Rod because he still owes us like 5 world series titles), don't boo them - let's save our boos for the Red Sox.

In the immortal words of Jerry Seinfeld "WHAT IS THE DEAL" with women in their twenties? Seriously, and I am including myself in this one. I do not understand how all conversations lead to men... no wait, all conversations lead to GUYS. For a detailed how-to-differentiate between a man and a guy, please see Dave Barry's Guide to Guys. Well, don't "see" it - the movie was lame, but read the book, you'll understand.
Back to the topic at hand... why do my friends and I, and I'm pretty sure most women in their mid-twenties, spend at LEAST a good 70%, maybe more, of our conversations are on the subject of loser dudes who either a. don't want a relationship right now, b. are trying to play games, c. have no direction, or d. (the most elusive guy) seem good on paper (maybe they even resemble a "nice" guy) but end up being lunatics/morons/bores. Then, when we find a decent one, we tend to over analyze the entire situation - all the while knowing he's more focused on beating the expert level of Guitar Hero than the direction of your relationship. I don't know, I really have no answer, I'm just throwing this out there so maybe an explanation or reasoning might come to light.

I have, however, compiled a list of SIGNS YOU SHOULD RUN, RUN FAR AWAY AND FAST FROM THIS GUY. Please enjoy and seriously consider running far, far away and fast if you suspect or know:
1. His roommates direct all relationship-related actions, such as whether or not to text you back, whether or not to call or ask out, etc.
2. He still has a montage of his girlfriend somewhere in his bedroom - it may sound obvious but, when you're in that "la la land" state of being happy to finally meet a guy, your brain may have taken off on a vacay to St. Tropez.
3. He "just" got out of a long-term relationship.... 6 months ago. If he uses that word, I'm sorry to report, he ain't movin on.
4. You have a nagging feeling in the back of your mind that you're, essentially, downgrading. Guess what? You are. Move along.
5. You have a nagging feeling, in the back of your mind, that he should be so lucky that a woman/girl like you would bother GLANCING at him. Yet he has no appreciation for such luck.
6. His ex-girlfriend still texts him - at 11 at night - and he responds while sitting next to you or walking with you. Again, he ain't over it.
7. You thought he was gay the first time you met him. Seriously, he'll probably turn out to be either gay or way too close with his roommates. I'd say still be friends if he is gay... but, if he hasn't already, then he probably won't be revealing this info to you anytime soon.
8. His idea of communication is strictly limited to texting and/or anything computer-related. If he doesn't have the decency to call then and make an effort, no matter how shy or bla bla bla he is, then you shouldn't have to make the effort of seeing his face.
9. His facebook mini-feed shows "[Guy] is now friends with [Insert random female name]" every Saturday and Sunday morning.
And finally, 10. His ex-girlfriend still has HIS car! Seriously?!?!?!

Note: None of the above are from personal experience. Ok, that's not really true. Actually, that's not even remotely true - they're all from my or a friend's own personal experience.